That day I spoke to a friend and she told me about how things had gone wrong between her and one of her close friends. The argument started off very simply- her friend disagreed with her choice of life partner.
And it has been years since they last spoke.
She knew that she was wrong to argue fiercely with her best friend who was just looking out for her at that time. She knew that she shouldn’t say half the things she said to her. She was wrong on that. But her worse regret was she never tried to amend what was broken and walked away from their friendship.
And now she truly missed her.
I remembered what Charles Caleb Colton said once,
True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost
How many of us are blessed with close friends and best friends- the ones whom we knew loved us to the bits, the ones whom we knew would be there for us when we are in need, the ones who dared to give us the blatant truth when others preferred to zip their mouth and let us fall and the ones whom we knew would leak tears from their eyes if we were to leave the world before them?
To my friend, I reminded her of Allah’s verse in His Quran,
The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof, but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah. Verily, He likes not the Zalimun (oppressors)
(Asy-Syura : 40)
Yes, that is the only way to go- reconcile.
We are living a life that is too short to make enemies, to leave things unsaid and to have frictions with the people we love.
This was not what Prophet Muhammad (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) wanted us to do.
In fact, what our Prophet (PBUH) wanted us to do was this,
"When a man loves his brother he should tell him that he loves him "(Abu Dawud, Tirmidzi)
Tell the people you loved, that you loved them. Take this advice of our beloved Prophet who was sent down to guide us in our lives, who was sent to make our lives better and who only wanted good things for us in this life and hereafter.
Let me share with you a sad poem that depicts the reality of life which many of us are facing, entitled ‘Forgiving’ written by a wonderful sister and friend - Sister Linda Delgado, a Muslim author from United States of America.
What you said hurt me
I responded in anger
You meant to say you were sorry
I meant to forgive you
What you did was so very wrong
I responded with harsh judgment
You meant to make amends
I meant to be more understanding
You meant to call or write
I waited hoping to hear from you
You got busy with life
I meant to try again; to call or write
You said, “I might try to change and do better.”
I said, “I won’t budge until I see your sorrow.”
You said, “There is always tomorrow.”
I said, “I will forgive on your tomorrow.”
Our tomorrow never came
One of us died.
There is today.
Don’t hold on to yesterday.
Don’t count on tomorrow.
It may not come
You have today
Don’t let love and hope slip away.